I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
