I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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