shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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