he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
what is it with giant penises always finding me
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
