We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
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he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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