The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize