I am midnight drunk by noon
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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