One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
