do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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