I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
