The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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