I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize