THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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