I'm drive I can fine osifer
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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