Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize