There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
