I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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