I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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