My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.