i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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