8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
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Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.