i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
