I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
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i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
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I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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