i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Randomize
