It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
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French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
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The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize