He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
