Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
