I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
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