i was born a porn star she said
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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