so that wasnt chicken after all
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
