I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
