I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
