Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
