It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
