the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
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I think I have vodka in my lungs
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
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the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So here I am, sexting at work.
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