What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
