If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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