Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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