Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
