If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
