Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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