I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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