I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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