am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
