Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
