In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
