He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
