your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
