im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
