yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
