Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
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I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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