you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
