I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
