I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i am craving dick and cupcakes
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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