Who wears a wallet chain?!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
