Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize